I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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