Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
