i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
