Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
