I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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