How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
