so explain again why im purple
no
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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