was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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