To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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