If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
