Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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