This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
third nipple confirmed
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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