last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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