She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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