At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize