Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
