Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
