Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
