It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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