i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
