By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
