When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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