She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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