I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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