the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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