How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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