Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
