you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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