Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
