You just made me feel so damn special
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
