I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
