Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
