So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
two words: eviction party
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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