Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
