Your face is a jimmy john
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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