I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
