It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
