I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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