Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
