I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
