so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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