You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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