It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
