'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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