I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
