I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
