He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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