OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
