We're facebook friends in real life
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
