I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
