You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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