I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
