Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
