The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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