pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
