I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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