When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
