Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
