my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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