Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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