Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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