As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
