is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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