um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
