She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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